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04-Jul-2017 13:17

I grew up in an American town No locks on the doors When we all bedded down To sleep Met a pretty young girl, and made her my bride After church on Sundays, take the kids for a ride Down the street Swimming holes, catching fireflies in jars Spend the evening staring at the stars Then the gays got married (gays got married) And the plant shut down (plant shut down) And the crops dried up (the crops dried up) Everywhere around (Everywhere around) Then the gays started kissin' (started kissin') And the state said "Cool" (cool) And they made all the kids Be gay in school 'cause them gays got married (gays got married) They announced it on TV Jumped in my truck and slammed reverse I had to get to my family Before the gay could get there first Hauling ass down the interstate In my throat I could my heart I didn't know how much time I had Before all the orgies would start And they're grabbing guys like me And they're pulling us out of our trucks And they're kissing our lips, and nibbling our ears And all sorts of sexy stuff And they're taking us out to fancy hotels And partying the night away And they're saying how good we look in their shirt When we wake up the next day No, I dare not look back To see what's behind They almost got me once When I was surfing online But as strong and straight as I know I am Every man can be pushed too far I've seen the devil, and the devil looks like Mario Lopez in jean shorts washing his car I pulled up into my house And I quickly ran inside I grabbed my lovely spouse But I felt no love when I looked in her eyes The gay had gone airborne And I didn't make it in time My family unit Had already been undermined Because The gays got married (gays got married) And released gay spores (gay spores) And all the straight people (all the people) Weren't in love no more (never love no more) 'cause them gays got married (gays got married) Been in this bunker three long years Canned food and recycled air Yet I shudder when I think about What must be happening up there A radioactive scorched desertscape Ruled by roving biker gangs With scary tattoos and muscley arms Blue eyes and super cute bangs So I'll seal myself off from everyone And hide here until I die Confused and angry, sad and alone And I know the reason why...

Geils Band hit ”Centerfold” — a puritanical high school virgin learns that his former squeeze has became a Playboy gatefold girl — but anyone who goes to see Miss March hoping for a voyeuristic, ?

This bespectacled chap doesn't look very rock'*'roll. Yes, Mr Moore started this week at the nation's biggest (and last) high street music chain, replacing Simon Fox, who's gone to Trinity Mirror. He used to run the camera shop Jessops as chief executive and previously worked at HSBC and Whitbread, the owner of Costa Coffee and Premier Inn. However, he has predicted a £10m profit for this year. Indeed, the camera firm suffered from the rise of digital, just like HMV, and the banks did a debt-for-equity swap. Mr Moore faces a battle to increase revenues in the age of i Tunes and internet piracy, and it is probably too much to expect fancy headphones to save the day. On his watch, Jessop's boasted that it sent online sales soaring and drew "more, younger, older and female customers" with a "live store" format which "extended dwell time and increased visit frequency".

My life was shattered." So, did he have a rallying message for the troops on his first day? So low-key was Mr Moore's arrival that yesterday afternoon the HMV corporate website still listed Mr Fox as chief executive. The Fantastic Mr Fox's last year in charge resulted in an £80m after-tax loss, and HMV's share price slumped more than 95 per cent as CD sales collapsed.

Break-ups always suck, so spare a thought for poor old Cory Vitiello, who was reportedly given the flick shortly after Meghan met Harry last year.

A besotted Meghan even featured Cory on her now defunct lifestyle blog star was an item with the successful celebrity chef for two years and they were together when Meghan hit it off with Harry in May, 2016.

Mr Moore is 6ft 6in and he recalled in a recent interview: "The only job I ever wanted to do at school was to be a pilot but the height limit was 6ft 3in.

Relive their ice bucket challenge video in the player below. Romance rumours stepped up a notch after Meghan and Rory starred in a very flirty ice bucket challenge video together.

"I always want off-the-beaten-path, Anthony Bourdain-inspired travel," she’s mused.

From Jamaica to Africa, Scotland and everywhere in between, this year alone Meghan and Harry have racked up a hefty collection of stamps on their passport. She insists a good old-fashioned slice of pizza is the way to her heart - us too Meegs, us too!

So, what does Meghan look for in a significant other exactly?

"At the end of the day, if the guy is going to write the girl a letter, whether it's chicken scratch or scribble or looks like a doctor's note, if he takes the time to put pen to paper and not type something, there's something so incredibly romantic and beautiful about that," she’s told Seeing the world with her man is also a must.

Buy Trevor Moore's (Whitest Kids you Know) new album "Drunk Texts To Myself" today: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/drunk-texts-to-myself-deluxe/id617,835,254 From Trevor Moore's debut album "Drunk Texts To Myself" - Out March 26th on Comedy Central Records.

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